Crystal Ball

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Crystal Ball
« on: December 26, 2012, 03:14:05 PM »
JANUARY
SJU starts off the new year with a 69-65 win over Nova. Harrison scores 28 points and is the topic of 5 threads on what a great pro he will be and is he better than Mullin. MCNPA starts a thread about whether he should book tickets to the Final four or not.

Cincy beats us 84 to 68. Harrison pouts during the second half. 14 threads about Harrison's body language. Yankcranker wonders what his gang affilation is.

We finish the month with a 76-72 loss to Depaul despite Obepka blocking 15 shots including 3 of his teamates shots.
Record 13-8 5-4

FEBRUARY
GTOWN 74-SJU 70. Garrett goes 1-11 from the line. MCNPA claims 9 of the misses were in and outs so he should have gotten a half point for each of those. By this math SJU wins 74 and a half to 74. Unfortunately the NCAA disagrees. The good news is Sanchez is spotted on the bench. Unfortunately he is on the Georgetown bench. Twenty Six threads are started discussing what this could mean.

SJU upsets Pitt 72-69. Pointer blocks game winning three and scores 14 points. Twelve threads about Pointer being better than Lavor Postell and a possible pro. Sanchez is spotted in a Taco in Mexico. Forty Two threads started about the possible meaning.
Record 15-12 7-8

MARCH
SJU 82 Providence 76. Pointer scores 1 point has 1 rebound and 1 assist. Numerous threads discussing how bad he is. Harrison misses a three, gets called for a foul and rolls his eyes. Yankcranker claims Harrison was responsible for shooting Rickey at the end of Boyz in the Hood. LJSA complains about WASJU not utilizing the quote function. Sanchez is spotted wearing a Where's Waldo shirt at the Grand Canyon.

Foad posts a thread about Lavin in which he references Steely Dan, Cormac McCarthy, the Dalai Lama, Aristotle, John Coltrane and some hot chick from the 60's.

Notre Dame 89 SJU 58. Moose tears off his I HEART LAVIN shirt Hulk Hogan style to reveal an I HATE LAVIN shirt. Harrison is removed from the game and immediately strangles coach Keady. Keady was day dreaming about the Golden Girls and does not notice. Harrison is benched for the first 5 minutes of the next game.

SJU 73 Marquette 72-Bourgalt starts for Harrison and hits 3 threes. Harrison subs in and Bourgalt never plays again.

Five threads wondering if Sanchez will be ruled eligible for the BET.
Record 17-13 9-9

To be cont........

« Last Edit: December 26, 2012, 03:29:51 PM by we are sju »

Re: Crystal Ball
« Reply #1 on: December 26, 2012, 03:40:14 PM »
Lmfao....

Re: Crystal Ball
« Reply #2 on: December 26, 2012, 04:46:47 PM »
Best laugh I've had since the unfortunate passing of George Carlin.

(uhh...he is dead, right?)

pmg911

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Re: Crystal Ball
« Reply #3 on: December 27, 2012, 10:23:54 AM »
Classic - almost as good as some of the old Tales of the Tape

Re: Crystal Ball
« Reply #4 on: December 27, 2012, 10:52:44 AM »
Brilliant - spot on.

How predictable most of us are.

kob24

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Re: Crystal Ball
« Reply #5 on: December 27, 2012, 01:52:52 PM »
That shit was funny

Re: Crystal Ball
« Reply #6 on: December 27, 2012, 09:16:58 PM »
Not bad wasju. Not your best though

Re: Crystal Ball
« Reply #7 on: January 04, 2013, 11:42:41 AM »
Part II
MARCH
Before our first round game against Depaul Orlando Sanchez sings the National Anthem.
Extremely close game throughout, SJU takes a 39-37 halftime lead. During halftime Sanchez wins a free trip by hitting a halfcourt shot. MCNPA immediately claims SJU should get credit for those 3 points and as far as he is concerned SJU now leads 42-37.
With 2 minutes to go in a tie game coach has Greene run the point. With the shot clock winding down Greene becomes disorientated and immediately starts dribbling towards the wrong basket. Just as Greene is about to make the go ahead layup for Depaul, Obepka comes out of nowhere to swat away Greene's shot. The same ref crew that ignored Just Brownlee's walk /stepping out of bounds in the BET two years ago amazingly ignore the backcout violation and the fact that both Greene and Obepka play for SJU and award the ball to SJU. Numerous complaints by posters that Obepka goaltended on Greene and SJU should be awarded 2 points. MCNPA is livid!
During the ensuing timeout Lavin makes an in game adjustment that we have all been clamoring for by instructing Dom Pointer to guard Greene as to ensure he won't shoot at the wrong hoop.
With Pointer guarding Greene and everyone on Depaul guarding Harrison, Garrett is forced to take the last shot. He is fouled with 5 seconds left. Garret calmly steps to the line and misses both free throws, however Dom Pointer grabs SJU first offensive rebound of the season and is immediately fouled. Pointer calmly misses both free throws, unfortunately Greene collects the second offensive rebound of the season and immediately tries to fire a shot towards the wrong basket but his shot is blocked by Pointer and the carom falls into Harrison's hands who nails the game winner. SJU 79 Depaul 77.
MCNPA brags that how many coaches would have thought to play a box and one on their own player. He implores the fans to please stop questioning Lavin's in game coaching anymore. Crgreen claims he saw Lavin do this to Baron Davis at UCLA.

BET round 2 vs Syracuse
In an attempt to prove w/o any reasonable doubt that Cuse is in fact NY's college team Cuse has a Dome instructed over the Garden and brings snow machines to replicate their normal blizzard conditions.
Before the opening tip Sanchez revises the flag boy tradition. He only is able to make one lap before he has to stop for exhaustion, since he was recently revealed to be in his fifties.
Early in the game Pointer gets a concussion when Garrett fires an outlet pass that hits him in the head. After the game Pointer claims Garrett missed the sign as he had called for the slider.
SJU trailing at halftime 50-36.
Early in second half Garrett picks up his 4th foul and Branch is ejected for flagrantly fouling the Syracuse Orangeman. With his hands tied Lavin inserts Bourgalt.
Harrison and Bourgalt both catch fire and Smiley Jim is forced to call off the zone. Despite playing in a hostile environment SJU has a chance to tie or take the lead with 7 seconds left. Coach diagrams a play where Harrison stands in the corner attempting to learn French from Bourgalt as Greene dribbles for 6 seconds before passing to Obekpa for an uncontested three...that misses. Cuse wins 84-82.

After the game Sanchez announces that he plans to roam the Earth like Caine in Kung Fu and Jules Winfield at the end of Pulp Fiction.
Lavin does his best recruiting job to date by having every NBA GM call Sampson to explain that they have no intention of drafting him in the first round. Unfortunately Harrison decides to transfer to be closer to home. He transfers to U of Washington....
« Last Edit: January 04, 2013, 12:36:51 PM by we are sju »

DFF6

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Re: Crystal Ball
« Reply #8 on: January 04, 2013, 11:48:18 AM »
Part II
MARCH
Before our first round game against Depaul Orlando Sanchez sings the National Anthem.
Extremely close game throughout, SJU takes a 39-37 halftime lead. During halftime Sanchez wins a free trip by hitting a halfcourt shot. MCNPA immediately claims SJU should get credit for those 3 points and as far as he is concerned SJU now leads 42-37.
With 2 minutes to go in a tie game coach has Greene run the point. With the shot clock winding down Greene becomes disorientated and immediately starts dribbling towards the wrong basket. Just as Greene is about to make the go ahead layup for Depaul, Obepka comes out of nowhere to swat away Greene's shot. The same ref crew that ignored Just Brownlee's walk /stepping out of bounds in the BET two years ago amazingly ignore the backcout violation and the fact that both Greene and Obepka play for SJU and award the ball to SJU. Numerous complaints by posters that Obepka goaltended on Greene and SJU should be awarded 2 points. MCNPA is livid!
During the ensuing timeout Lavin makes an in game adjustment that we have all been clamoring for by instructing Dom Pointer to guard Greene as to ensure he won't shoot at the wrong hoop.
With Pointer guarding Greene and everyone on Depaul guarding Harrison, Garrett is forced to take the last shot. He is fouled with 5 seconds left. Garret calmly steps to the line and misses both free throws, however Dom Pointer grabs SJU first offensive rebound of the season and is immediately fouled. Pointer calmly misses both free throws, unfortunately Greene collects the second offensive rebound of the season and immediately tries to fire a shot towards the wrong basket but his shot is blocked by Pointer and the carom falls into Harrison's hands who nails the game winner. SJU 79 Depaul 77.
MCNPA brags that how many coaches would have thought to play a box and one on their own player. He implores the fans to please stop questioning Lavin's in game coaching anymore. Crgreen claims he saw Lavin do this to Baron Davis at UCLA.

BET round 2 vs Syracuse
In an attempt to prove w/o any reasonable doubt that Cuse is in fact NY's college team Cuse has a Dome instucted over the Garden and brings snow machines to replicate their normal blizzard conditions.
Before the opening tip Sanchez revises the flag boy tradition. He only is able to make one lap before he has to stop for exhaustion, since he was recently revealed to be in his fifties.
Early in the game Pointer gets a concussion when Garrett fires an outlet pass that hits him in the head. After the game Pointer claims Garrett missed the sign as he had called for the slider.
SJU trailing at halftime 50-36.
Early in second half Garrett picks up his 4th foul and Branch is ejected for flagrantly fouling the Syracuse Orangeman. With his hands tied Lavin inserts Bourgalt.
Harrison and Bourgalt both catch fire and Smiley Jim is forced to call off the zone. Despite playing in a hostile environment SJU has a chance to tie or take the lead with 7 seconds left. Coach diagrams a play where Harrison stand in the corner attempting to learn French from Bourgalt as Greene dribbles for 6 second before passing to Obekpa for an uncontested three...that misses. Cuse wins 84-82.

After the game Sanchez announces that he plans to roam the Earth like Caine in Kung Fu and Jules Winfield at the end of Pulp Fiction.
Lavin does his best recruiting job to date by having every NBA GM call Sampson to explain that they have no intention of drafting him in the first round. Unfortunately Harrison decides to transfer to be closer to home. He transfers to U of Washington....

Awesome! Thanks for taking the time to put this together.

Re: Crystal Ball
« Reply #9 on: January 04, 2013, 11:52:55 AM »
Another homerun.

Re: Crystal Ball
« Reply #10 on: January 04, 2013, 11:56:26 AM »
"Whatchoo mean roam da Earf?!?"
-Barbarino
« Last Edit: January 04, 2013, 11:56:49 AM by Choz4Life »
Parking only for NYCHA permit holders.

Re: Crystal Ball
« Reply #11 on: January 04, 2013, 12:27:48 PM »
Part II
MARCH
Before our first round game against Depaul Orlando Sanchez sings the National Anthem.
Extremely close game throughout, SJU takes a 39-37 halftime lead. During halftime Sanchez wins a free trip by hitting a halfcourt shot. MCNPA immediately claims SJU should get credit for those 3 points and as far as he is concerned SJU now leads 42-37.
With 2 minutes to go in a tie game coach has Greene run the point. With the shot clock winding down Greene becomes disorientated and immediately starts dribbling towards the wrong basket. Just as Greene is about to make the go ahead layup for Depaul, Obepka comes out of nowhere to swat away Greene's shot. The same ref crew that ignored Just Brownlee's walk /stepping out of bounds in the BET two years ago amazingly ignore the




























backcout violation and the fact that both Greene and Obepka play for SJU and award the ball to SJU. Numerous complaints by posters that Obepka goaltended on Greene and SJU should be awarded 2 points. MCNPA is livid!
During the ensuing timeout Lavin makes an in game adjustment that we have all been clamoring for by instructing Dom Pointer to guard Greene as to ensure he won't shoot at the wrong hoop.
With Pointer guarding Greene and everyone on Depaul guarding Harrison, Garrett is forced to take the last shot. He is fouled with 5 seconds left. Garret calmly steps to the line and misses both free throws, however Dom Pointer grabs SJU first offensive rebound of the season and is immediately fouled. Pointer calmly misses both free throws, unfortunately Greene collects the second offensive rebound of the season and immediately tries to fire a shot towards the wrong basket but his shot is blocked by Pointer and the carom falls into Harrison's hands who nails the game winner. SJU 79 Depaul 77.
MCNPA brags that how many coaches would have thought to play a box and one on their own player. He implores the fans to please stop questioning Lavin's in game coaching anymore. Crgreen claims he saw Lavin do this to












Baron Davis at UCLA.

BET round 2 vs Syracuse
In an attempt to prove w/o any reasonable doubt that Cuse is in fact NY's college team Cuse has a Dome instructed over the Garden and brings snow machines to replicate their normal blizzard conditions.
Before the opening tip Sanchez revises the flag boy tradition. He only is able to make one lap before he has to stop for exhaustion, since he was recently revealed to be in his fifties.
Early in the game Pointer gets a concussion when Garrett fires an outlet pass that hits him in the head. After the game Pointer claims Garrett missed the sign as he had called for the slider.
SJU trailing at halftime 50-36.
Early in second half Garrett picks up his 4th foul and Branch is ejected for flagrantly fouling the Syracuse Orangeman. With his hands tied Lavin inserts Bourgalt.


Harrison and Bourgalt both catch fire and Smiley Jim is forced to call off the zone. Despite playing in a hostile environment SJU has a chance to tie or take the lead with 7 seconds left. Coach diagrams a play where Harrison stands in the corner attempting to learn French from Bourgalt as Greene dribbles for 6 second before passing to Obekpa for an uncontested three...that misses. Cuse wins 84-82.

After the game Sanchez announces that he plans to roam the Earth like Caine in Kung Fu and Jules Winfield at the end of Pulp Fiction.
Lavin does his best recruiting job to date by having every NBA GM call Sampson to explain that they have no intention of drafting him in the first round. Unfortunately Harrison decides to transfer to be closer to home. He transfers to U of Washington....


Now that was funny as shitsky.  Thanks for the good laugh.  :2funny: