TUESDAY-
Rysheed Jordan decides to turn pro. Like right at this moment. He happened to see a mock draft that had him in the first round. Unfortunately it was the Kazakhstan basketball league. Lavin brags that he is the first SJU coach to have a player get drafted by Kazakhstan.
WEDNESDAY-
During practice Harrison who has become increasingly frustrated at the end of his senior year suffers a serious eye injury from restraining his eye rolls for the last 2 years. After listening to Lavin latest Pointer nickname, Harrison's eyeballs roll completely out of his head. He is listed as questionable for the SDSU game.
THURSDAY-
Carmine kidnaps Phil Greene and chains him in his basement. Luckily for Phil it is a circular shaped basement, so he has that going for him.
Playing his first game for the Kazakhstan Borats Jordan scores 76 points.
FRIDAY-
After receiving the wrong anti inflammatory medicine for his groin Branch develops a 4 hour erection that he can't get rid off and is forced to miss the game.
Balamou trips over Branch's erection and reinjures his ankle.
Jordan goes missing from Kazakhstan and is spotted eating a cheesesteak in front of Patsy's.
Harrison's radical eyeball replacement surgery goes slightly awry and he is given Kurt Thomas style permanent rolling eyes. Lavin thinks he is eye rolling him and suspends him for the game.
SJU lineup vs SDSU
C JDR
F AMIR
F Dom
G Walkon
G Walkon
Amir and JDR foul out in first half. SJU trails 25- 12 at half. Pointer has 12 points 12 boards 12 steals and 12 blocks
SJU trails by 2 with the ball and 8 seconds left. During the TO Phil Greene suddenly appears having heroically chewed through his leg to escape Carmine's dungeon. Phil Miraculously hits a one footed three to give SJU the lead with 2 seconds left and SDSU out of TO's. Lavin calls a TO for them and Dom Pointers blocks Polee's layup at the buzzer.
SJU WINS 38 TO 37