College Marillac to College SJUFan: “Why did you hookup with that pig at the bar last night?”
College SJUFan: “No chick above a 4 wanted to hookup with me. You can’t expect me to land hot chicks year one. If the hot girls see me landing all these fours and treating them well, they will be eating out of my hand by junior year.”
College Marillac: “No hot girls want to hookup with any of us...it’s our job to convince them they do. WASJU told some chick he was Bill Gates nephew and said he wanted to take her apple picking and for some pumpkin spice lattes. Mase is watching Rent with some girl as we speak That’s how you do it.”
College Seattle Johnny: “Don’t worry bro, she may have been one of the ugliest girls at the bar, but she was loaded with intangibles. I heard she had a 3.9 GPA and a lawn-mowing business. That’s work ethic, playa. Plus, she fits your style. You both love missionary. Me, I’m working the long game on an 8. I’m in the friendzone now but after 2-3 years of being there when she’s hungover and depressed from failed one-night stands, things will be different.”
College MakingPlays: “SJUFan once dated a fat girl who lost like 75 lbs and she became like super hot. Find me one piece of evidence she was ever rated above a 3 before they dated. You can’t. He’s got an eye for potential.”
College Dave: “I said she was cute to Baldi in an AIM convo years ago.”
College MakingPlays: “That was after homecoming and after she lost 50 lbs! We all thought she was cute then. How about something from before they started dating? You can’t.”
College Poison: “You know who’s super hot? My remedial math instructor is a solid 9.”
College Tony D: “Dude, she’s so hot! Half the reason why I failed last semester was so I could see her again!”
College Foad: “Sure it was,
Tesla. What % is half by the way?”
College Tony D: “Fck off and die Foad!”