Needless to say that many posters make excellent points. Saint John's has long maintained a small time meaningless basketball program and much of the discussion in this thread carries on that tradition. For example, who among us can forget just 5 or 6 years ago when we celebrated the 25th anniversary of the year we lost a game in the final four. Good time. Or that where other teams hang championship banners, we treasure an ugly sweater - or as I like to think of it, the Shroud of Louie.
Now though, things have changed. What with Jim Calhoun absent due to medical issues and Hall of Fame coaches like Jim Boeheim, Jamie Dixon, and Bob Huggins leaving the league we are poised to take our rightful place at or near the top of the teams that are left, legendary basketball powerhouses such as Seton Hall, Providence and Boise State. To me it's just as unfortunate that the good programs did not leave the league sooner as it is that more children were not brutally sodomized at earlier ages by more coaches and their wives, which could only have helped propel the SJ juggernaut. In fact, if George Blaney is caught making a snuff film and Mike Brey and Buzz Williams spontaneously combust I think that next year we could finish in the top half of the league.
There's no doubt that not allowing the other teams fans to attend the games would be an advantage. Ideally we would not allow the other teams to attend the games - especially the great teams with great coaches that are perennial national championship contenders like Syracuse and Uconn, gosh how I hate those guys - but that might be considered poor sportsmanship. And sure I know that some people think you can only be the best if you beat the best but I'd be happy enough win a national championship if every other basketball player in the country died in a plane crash and had their corpses violated anally by Jerry Sandusky. That would just make the victory all the sweeter. Because lets face it this is New York and if you can make it here you can make it anywhere, even Syracuse.
The ideal solution to the fan base problem would be to build an on campus arena that's even smaller than Schottenheimer Stadium, sorry I mean Bud Grant Coliseum, sorry I mean Carnesecca Arena, our state of the art on campus facility - because what could be more unnerving to a free throw shooter in a tight ball game than having a crowd of 100 or 200 die hard toupeed fans in red and white sweaters staring you down. Not to mention the delicious schadenfreude one would feel as the tens of thousand of Syracuse or UConn fans who would otherwise attend the game at the Mecca of college basketball would have to stay home and watch it on television, like a sad and pathetic Arab sheik reduced to watching a hajj from the harem room in his palace.
Those of course our all solutions for the future. For todays game I’ve prepared some slogans that I'm going to chant which I think may well effect the outcome.
-- Bernie. Your wife's a skank and douches with Pine. Sol.
-- You might be Fab, I bet you wouldn't be so mellow if you were showering with Jerry Sandusky!
-- Hey Fab Melo you might be a number one draft pick making millions of dollars a year playing basketball and having threesomes with the Laker girls but you couldn’t even pass English 101 so suck
it.
-- Ha! Syracuse is only #2 in the country, try harder
-- Hey Jardine, what kind of a name is Scoop? You sound like a reporter or something.
-- Rakim Christmas: did Bernie Fine come down your chimney?
Unlikely that even the most hardened “baller” will be able to withstand such withering stuff.
To seal the deal before the game I’ll be having at the current Mrs Foad, who’ll be dressed up like a cheerleader and wearing a Juli Boeheim mask. Because Juli Boeheim is smoking and the missus catholic school unifrom is at the dry cleaner. I suspect the karmic energy from this act (or acts, depending on how much Johnnie Black I drink) may turn the tide and lead us to victory. Because : we are. Saint John’s.